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Chapter 9:
How To Successfully Approach Women
Approaching women doesn’t have to be
difficult. You might think that there are a million different things
to know about your approach, but that isn’t the case. It is true
that there are many different situations where you could approach a
woman but these situations share a number of factors. It is possible
to break down all the possible ways to approach women into a few
basic techniques. This chapter describes these approach techniques,
as well as other considerations to keep in mind when trying to pick
up a woman.
Recognize the Opportunity
It’s been said before – anytime and
anywhere is the right time and the right place to meet a woman. You
are surrounded by endless opportunities to approach women; you just
need to see them all! Each time you notice an attractive woman
crossing your path, be aware that this may be the only time you’ll
ever see her.
You must initiate a
conversation, build a trustful connection, and get her vitals!
If you want to see a woman again, you
have to act quickly on the situation. Learn to recognize all the
opportunities how to take advantage of them. You will learn how easy
it is to turn a brief encounter into a telephone number and a date.
Icebreakers and Success Makers
The best icebreaker is saying "Hi"
with a smile. Simple, yet true. Once you start a conversation, you
should say something that will encourage further response from her.
The next line should be a statement or a question that shows
interest in her. You could compliment her, or comment on something
she is wearing or carrying. Whatever your approach, it will likely
fall into one of four basic approach techniques. These techniques
are defined below for you to learn and practice. Adapt these
suggestions to your personal style, and do what you feel comfortable
with. Use these techniques together or separately to get the success
you want.
1. Use a Compliment
Every woman needs to feel
appreciated. An honest compliment is an easy way to show your
appreciation for her and the care she takes to look good. Compliment
her outfit, her hair, her eyes, or her manicured fingernails –
something specific about her that you are attracted to. A compliment
can work great for opening conversation with a woman as long as you
put some thought into it. You do not want to sound cheesy or
pre-rehearsed. You also don’t want to give her a compliment that she
may have already heard. Get creative and personal with your
compliments.
Use something that
she is doing or wearing
to personalize the compliment.
When you see a woman you want to talk
to, look at her carefully. Notice something about her that you like,
and tell her what you like about it. Be truthful when you compliment
her – women can sense sincerity.
When you are figuring out what to say
as a compliment you should think of these three structures: use an
analogy, follow a compliment with a question, or ask her about what
she does. When making an analogy try to compare her to
another object. Tell her that her lips or her eyes remind you of
something. Or, tell her that the blue in her shirt brings out her
eyes. If you are going to follow a compliment with a question
notice something about her and figure out if there is anything that
you might like to know. For example, if she is wearing a St.
Christopher is she religious? If she is wearing a unique ring ask
her if she picked it out, or if it is an heirloom.
The third structure is to compliment
what she does. If you meet her in her workplace, and she is
doing a phenomenal job, then tell her you are impressed. If she
works with children or she volunteers somewhere tell her that you
admire the time she spends helping others.
It is important to
notice something about her, and
not to use a general come-on line.
No matter what type of compliment you
decide to give her, be sure to personalize it. It helps to memorize
a few generic lines and tailor them to the woman you are talking to
at the time.
2. Use a Conversation Piece
This type of comment or question
involves observing her, and her possessions and drawing a conclusion
– correct or incorrect, it doesn’t matter – and using it to start a
conversation with a woman. Always look at the woman you are
interested in to see if she is wearing or carrying anything you
could comment on. This could be a book, a briefcase, a gym bag,
a shopping bag, or anything! Use this object to strike up a
conversation. Ask which gym she works out at, or if she would
recommend the book she is reading. If she is sporting a company logo
ask how she is affiliated with that company. If she is wearing a
unique piece of jewelry ask her about it. Is it an heirloom? What
stone is it? If you meet a woman in your office building and she is
carrying a briefcase, or papers, then ask her if she works in the
building.
Using a conversation piece as an
icebreaker can be very effective and can be used anywhere. It is
especially good if you briefly meet a woman, as you can adapt it to
any location. If you keep probing her for information, and time runs
out, then you have the opportunity to ask her to lunch. Ask for her
number, or give her your card.
3. Discuss the Situation
Another aspect to consider is where
you are, or the event you are both attending. Using location to
open a conversation is already personalized because you are both in
the same place. If it is a party, you can always talk about
someone else – maybe there is one very drunk guy who is making a
fool of himself. Laughing at other people seems to be a great way to
bond.
Use a comment about the current
situation to call attention to the fact that you are both "here
now!" If you refer back to the list of places and activities given
in Chapter 5 Where Women Can Be Found, you will notice that
the middle column is a list of places that would indicate a common
interest. If you are both at a sports event, comment on the game. If
you are at an Art Gallery, point out that you both like the same
painting. Meeting a woman at a place such as those listed is a
suitable situation to point out that you share an interest.
If you are in a situation where you
don’t know anyone, and you see a woman you’d really like to meet
then walk over to her. Be honest about your attraction. Tell her
that you want to meet her, but you don’t know anyone to introduce
you. Then introduce yourself and start a conversation. You have
nothing to lose by introducing yourself to a woman. Once you start
the conversation keep in mind your objective to get her vitals and
then ask questions to get the information you need.
4. Ask Her a General Question
Tried, tested, and trued. This
technique is a simple, effective way to engage in conversation with
an attractive woman. Look at the woman you want to talk to and ask
her any question – from "Do you have the time?" to "How do you like
the snow?" (Weather permitting, of course!) It is better to ask a
good question to which you might actually need the answer. You could
ask her where a certain restaurant is, or how to find the nearest
bank. Any kind of question could be used to approach a woman, but
the more you can relate it to the situation, the better off you’ll
be. You can combine this technique with any other and it will be
even more effective.
You can use
questions as general or as specific as you like.
You don’t have to be a smooth talker
to get a woman to respond with this approach. Even if you don’t
actually need the information, asking a question will open
the door to further communication.
Summarizing Your Approach
Whichever approach you use, remember
to personalize your approach. Women want to feel appreciated, so pay
attention. When you personalize a comment or a question, she’ll take
note of your attentiveness and she will hopefully accept your
invitation to chat. Once you break the ice with a woman, you need to
get her phone number to ensure future communication. Chapter 10
How to Get and Execute a Date will explore in depth the next
steps of dating.
Chapter 10 - Click Here
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