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Chapter 7:
How To Use Power And Suggestion Of Body Language
The man with the greatest chance for
success with a woman is a man who can attract her, approach her, and
seduce her by using both verbal and non-verbal language. This
chapter is all about body language – yours and hers. You need to
know how your body language influences her reactions and opinions
toward you. You need to know how to get the results you want by
telling her what you want before you approach her. You’ll learn what
impression you can give her and how you can convey your intentions
to her by using simple gestures.
You’ll also learn how to pick out the
women that will be the most responsive to your efforts. You want to
minimize your chances of rejection. In this chapter you will find
out how to spot the women that want to be picked up and those tat
want to be left alone. You will learn how to use body language
to communicate with women. You will soon learn how to read a woman’s
movements and reactions to determine what she’s thinking and how she
feels.
Body language is the most powerful
and effective communication tool when meeting women. You must
become fully aware of body language and use it to your advantage.
Once you read through this chapter your chance for success will
increase as you begin to see the clues women give you through their
body language. Using this valuable information, your time and effort
will no longer be wasted on women who cannot or will not give you
what you desire.
Use Your Body Language Effectively
This is called Flirting. Flirting is
extremely important when communicating with women that you intend to
pick up. Everyone can flirt, but not all can flirt successfully. You
will soon be able to flirt with women and achieve great results!
This chapter is full of suggestions for effective flirting.
To become an expert
at flirting you need practice, practice and more practice.
There are many women out there eager
to flirt with men. You may not see yourself with all of them, but
you should still use them to practice your techniques! Practice
making women smile; practice talking to women; practice being funny
and charming; practice new lines; practice asking for her phone
number. You should especially practice reading women – approach them
to compare their reactions to what you expected. Every time you are
right about a woman’s thoughts you will become more of an expert at
reading women. You will become more confident and, when it comes
time to flirt with a woman you really want to date or sleep with,
you’ll be ready.
Personal Space
You have to set the stage for
exchanging body language with a woman. The best way to do this is it
to position yourself within reasonable proximity to her. Once you
see a woman you are interested in you should turn to face her. Make
sure that you are in her line of vision, so that you can easily
exchange glances. You want her to see you. As soon as she sees you,
start flirting with her.
Women, too, use their personal space
to flirt with you. If a woman is particularly close to you – less
than an arm’s length away – then she is probably interested in you.
Always assume she is interested, at which point begin flirting with
her. A woman will likely position herself near you if she is
interested.
When a woman sees a
man she wants to meet, she will find a way to be physically closer
to him.
Have you ever noticed a woman who
keeps appearing in your general vicinity? No coincidence. Women have
their own ways of getting closer to men. She may slowly move closer
to you; she may approach the bar at the same time hoping to talk to
you; she may "accidentally" bump into you; she may touch your arm or
your waist to make her way past you in a busy nightclub; she may
even brush her breasts up against you. This behavior is sending the
message that she wants to meet you.
Women almost always will tour the
room and pass by any man she is interested in more than once. She
will look at you and look away – then look again to see if you are
still looking. This is a telltale sign that she is interested. Men
often don’t notice such subtle gestures. Keep reading to learn more
about her body language.
Every time you walk into a room, you
should notice women, and where they are. Keep your eyes open to
see who is checking you out, and watch which women move closer to
you. These are the women that are interested in you, and they
will be more likely to accept your advances.
Make Eye Contact
If you see a woman you are interested
in, the first thing you do is become visible to her, then you want
to make eye contact. Look into her eyes. Eye contact, especially the
first glance, can say a lot about your feelings for a woman. Women
can sense your intentions when she looks into your eyes. Women are
very good at reading a person’s eyes, so it is important to be
genuine. Allow her to see the real you; you’ll be more attractive if
you are being yourself. Be sure to look right into her eyes. Don’t
look her up and down like a piece of meat you just want to have sex
with; look at her. If you create chemistry (as discussed
later in Chapter 11) she will feel the connection right away.
Always try to make
eye contact with any woman you are interested in.
Show her that you are serious about
wanting to meet her and talk to her. If you catch her eyes across
the room, hold your gaze until she looks away. You should never be
the one to look away, and never look down. Looking down is a sign of
submission – that is what you want her to do! If you look
away you send messages of fear, or lack of interest. You want her to
know you are strong, confident and assertive. Hold eye contact with
her for an extended gaze. If she refuses to look away, give her a
little wink and a smile. When you are holding eye contact with a
woman, and you feel the tension building, don’t break down and look
away. Force yourself to keep looking deep into her eyes. By
maintaining your gaze you are creating sexual chemistry! Once the
woman looks away then you should also look away. Frequently scan her
line of vision to see if she is looking back at you, and see if she
will make direct eye contact with you again. If a woman is
interested in you, she will let you know.
Extended eye
contact is a good indication that she wants to meet you.
If she continues to look right at
you, then you know she is interested. She is inviting you over with
her eyes. A woman with such confidence is one to be extra secure
around. She knows what she wants, and tonight she wants you.
When you decide to approach a woman
you want her to see you as a self-assured man whom she could easily
be with. Walk right up to her without looking away. To engage a
conversation, you should politely introduce yourself and flatter her
with a sincere compliment. She will surely smile in response, or say
thank you, and then you ask her name and make conversation. You will
learn just what to say in Chapter 8 How to Talk With Women.
Once you know her name, be sure to use it often so as not to forget
it.
Smile
A great smile will tell a woman a lot
about you: you are sociable, you are friendly, and you are happy.
Smiling is easy and effective with women. It will put a woman at
ease, and she won’t feel threatened by you. When you smile at a
woman you are sending her the message that you have noticed her and
she should know that you are interested in her. If a woman smiles at
you, she is sending that same message. Always return a woman’s
smile – it tells her you are friendly, easy-going and approachable.
When you make eye contact with a woman, you must follow it up
with a smile. If you don’t, she may see you as angry, stupid, or a
jerk! You might be trying to "keep your cool" by maintaining a
straight face, but women don’t want that – a woman wants a friendly,
approachable guy to smile at her and to give her a sign of approval.
Smile at a woman to
tell her you are interested.
Smiling at her and making eye contact
with her will tell a woman you are attracted to her. If a woman
returns both gestures – eye contact and smiling – you know you made
an impression. You will have a pretty good chance for success as she
has already given you the approval to approach her.
It is important to smile to women,
and it is just as important to smile while interacting with friends
and strangers. If a woman is watching you, and sees your positive
manner, she’ll see you as a guy who knows how to have a great time.
A woman will notice you laughing and enjoying yourself. She will
see you as a guy who would be fun to go out and spend time with.
If you don’t have a confident smile,
practice every day in front of the mirror, or just smile at all the
people you make contact with through out the day. You will quickly
feel great about your smile, and the reactions you get from being
friendly.
Reading Her Body Language
When reading a woman’s body language,
be sure to consider all body movements, facial expressions and even
her verbal communication to other people. Women are not very good at
hiding their feelings. Their feelings are expressed obviously,
provided you can read what her body language is saying. Women always
convey what they are feeling through a series of gestures. You need
to be able to recognize these gestures and interpret them to find
out her thoughts, feelings, or motives. There are two key forms
of body positioning – open and closed. Open describes a woman
who is open to advancement. She will respond positively if you
approach her. Closed, on the other hand, indicates that the woman is
on the defensive. She is withdrawing from the situation; she may be
unhappy; she may be tired and wants to go home. Women with closed
body language should probably be avoided, unless you want a
challenge.
Body Position – Standing
When a woman is standing, and she is
open to advancement, she will often stand with her legs slightly
apart. Her arms could be by her side, on her hips, or one hand will
be holding a drink. She will be relaxed and her movements will flow
smoothly. These are all good indications of openness to advancement.
A woman who is approachable will
usually keep her hands showing – indicating she has nothing to hide.
A receptive woman will not have her hands in her pockets, or
her arms crossed. If a woman is standing with her arms crossed she
is demonstrating a closed body position. She is feeling defensive
and her arms pose as a physical barrier to anyone approaching.
Body Position – Sitting
When a woman is sitting with just her
legs crossed, and her arms resting on her lap, or on the arm rests,
she is expressing an open body position. She may have crossed her
legs to be sexy – to show off more of her thigh and to express
invitation. If she is holding her knee and leaning forward, she is
showing interest. If she turns her body towards the person beside
her, she is definitely showing interest in that person.
When a woman is seated with her
legs crossed AND her arms crossed – walk away. She is not in a
receptive body position. Wait until she relaxes. Otherwise, she will
probably be a very difficult woman to open up. Another defensive
position is when she tightly holds her hands on her lap, and her
ankles are crossed.
Obvious Flirting Behavior
Even if you aren’t very good at
reading body positions, you can’t go wrong if you notice some or all
of the following behavior:
- She may tilt her head to one
side, or looks at you then looks down, which indicates
submission;
- She may run her fingers through
her hair;
- She may straighten her clothing
or adjust in her seat;
- She may touch her face, neck, or
rub her hand on her own leg.
All these gestures indicate a desire
to look attractive. Women are always showing men signs of
interest, but so many men just don’t know how to read them! You
need to observe women and, using this book as a guide, learn to
interpret their body positions and gestures. When a woman
shows signs of interest you need to be confident with your approach,
and that she will accept your advances, and move toward her.
If you are more interested in
learning how to interpret a woman’s body language there are numerous
books written on just that. It is an extensive subject – one worth
reading up on! The more you know about how women convey their
feelings, the better you can communicate with them.
Physical Contact
If you are like every man I know, you
want to become physical with the woman you are advancing upon. You
must not move too quickly, though. The woman will show signs of
interest, you will start a conversation, and then you can
inadvertently touch her. A soft, subtle touch can make a woman
feel at ease with you. You will reassure her that you are a nice,
gentle person.
The best way to initiate physical
contact with a woman is to "accidentally" touch her. Any indirect
contact will do – if you are standing, stand close so your arms
touch, or if you are sitting, sit close enough so that your legs
touch. If she allows or returns the contact, then you are okay to
continue. Once you establish your first physical contact you should
continue to touch her. It lets her know that you are definitely
interested, and you don’t want her to get away.
Often, men lose out with women
because they DON’T touch her enough. Men often hesitate touching too
much for fear of scaring her away, but women think that he is not
totally interested in her. This is a simple miscommunication that
you can easily avoid. Touch her. If she pulls away then you
should give her some more time to get comfortable with you. You
don’t want to come on too strong, or you might offend her.
Take the initiative
to be close,but let the woman dictate how much, how fast.
If you feel that the chemistry
between you is building quickly and you feel the desire to kiss her,
look deep into her eyes. Stand close enough so that you can touch
her cheek, and pull yourself against her. Wait to see her reaction.
If she pulls away then she is not ready to be kissed. If she returns
the closeness and doesn’t pull or turn away, kiss her softly. Make
sure you don’t give her a wet, sloppy kiss. Women hate that! If a
woman wants to be kissed, she will position herself in front of you.
Knowing just when to initiate physical contact, or when to kiss her,
takes practice. You can practice touching people inadvertently
throughout the day, but the best practice will be with women.
Ensure Success Tonight
Now that you know about women’s
behavior and body language, you need to know how to find the woman
who is looking for the same thing you are – to meet someone tonight.
This woman will be looking hot and desirable. Typically, she will
wear clothes that show off her female form. She may draw attention
to her breasts or legs. She may wear a tight skirt or top to show
off her feminine curves. This woman wants to look her best so that
she will attract male attention. She knows that she looks hot, and
she has probably only one thing on her mind – to find a sexual
partner.
A woman looking to meet a man will
express open body language, and she will be watching every
man in the room. She is looking to choose the lucky guy who gets to
take her home tonight. Despite her outspoken body language, you
should always follow the points in this chapter – make eye contact
and flirt with her before approaching her. Instead of looking deep
into her eyes, you could play with her a little and undress her with
your eyes. A woman with the goal of a one-night stand will
appreciate this gesture, and the chemistry will spark! This woman is
sending out obvious signals of interest. Now that you know even
the slightest body suggestions you can pick up on her obvious
desires. You can be the lucky guy who attracts her attention
using your own body language and takes her home!
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