Bonus Article: When does size matter?

from the pen of SUZIE, noted author and sexual affairs correspondent

Over the past year or so, I have been bombarded with e-mails wanting to sell me a pill, exercise, or a treatment to increase my penis size.

Well, I am a woman so these advertising efforts are wasted on me!

And then I started to think about whether they are wasted on men as well. The thing that these advertisers would have you believe, what they want you to think, is that it is important. That your penis has to be big enough.

The real question, I submit, is: “who cares”?

The only way to sell these treatments, pills and techniques is to convince the general public that someone cares about penis size. The question then becomes, who?

The marketers would have you men think that women care. The question you should be asking yourself is, in general, do women care? And if they do, which women care?

This chapter is an attempt to prompt discussion about the need for bigger penises and the underlying rational for men to undertake these involved (and sometimes painful) size-enhancing techniques.

I start with an explanation of when size matters. In order for penis size to matter, you must first have a woman who is at least willing to see your penis. Short of this - the size of it does not matter. So, penis size means nothing when you are attempting to date a woman. Believe me, when a woman is deciding whether or not to go out with you, the size of your penis is not really a consideration. Remember, upon the first encounter, sex matters a whole hell of a lot more to you than it does to her. Arguably, what attracts you to her is somewhat different than what attracts her to you.

There is a ton of research that deals with our animal instincts and our endeavor to attract a mate. Physical appearance is certainly important to both men and women but other factors come into play as well. Scent is a very powerful attractant as is the sound of that person’s voice. Studies have shown that one of the most powerful determinants of whether a couple will stay together (based on attraction alone) is whether they can tolerate the sound of the other person’s voice. Interesting, eh?

Given that physical attraction is somewhat important, how does penis size fit into this equation? Well, it is of little consequence when you first meet your potential mate. It is of little consequence if you go out on a first date, unless you end up in bed together - which, let’s face it does not happen too often. Women typically do not sleep with a guy the first time they go out with him. That is not to say that it doesn’t happen - just that any man would be foolish to expect it more often than not. So, how about the second date?

Well, if things went well on the first date, there may be a second. Let us stop for a minute and think about what it means for her to agree to a second date. It must mean that she finds you attractive. That is necessarily in the physical sense. Women will not go out with a man they do not find attractive in some way. Of that you can be sure. And the other thing is that your personality must also be attractive to her. So, in order to get that second date - or even the first for that matter - you must have impressed her in some way. So, what does this mean for penis size? Well, if you are lucky enough to have seduced her by the second date and she ends up in bed with you - does penis size matter? That one is kind of up in the air until you think about the kind of woman she is and what you think she wants. Does she just want sex or does she want a relationship?

Let us suppose that all she wants from you is sex. If this is the case then you are probably not the first man she has been with, nor should you believe that you will be the last. Women who only want sex, probably think about it the same way men do - no strings - just a good time. Well, in this case the woman might be quite experienced and may actually evaluate her encounter with you in terms of your penis size. That is she may equate good sex with the size of the man’s penis if she is the kind that is turned on more by large men than average ones and that she has experienced men of all sizes. If you have the feeling that after being with her, that you didn’t measure up - and some women will actually point this out - then you should be asking yourself one question. “What does her evaluation mean to me and how much do I care about what she thinks?” In short, if you were looking for a one night stand and the woman appeared to be disappointed with your size then the only thing you should be thinking as you are walking away is not whether you should go out and enlarge your penis to please other women like her but rather you should be thinking that you were looking for a one night stand and you got it. Who cares what she thinks? Should you take this as an insult to your manhood? Absolutely not! What this means is that you have qualities that persuaded her to go to bed with you in the first place, which in all fairness is not an easy thing to accomplish.

If you are not ‘lucky’ enough to get her into bed on the first few dates and you are spending more and more time with her doing other things that you both enjoy, then believe me, when you do go to bed with her - penis size will not matter much. Will she be impressed if you are huge? Maybe. Will she be disappointed if you are really small? Maybe. The point is, if you are making love with someone who really cares about you - the size of your penis will not matter if you can still please her.

The objective is to experience sexual encounters in a way that makes you and she feel good about each other and yourselves. If a woman is not happy with your performance then maybe it has nothing to do with size and it is the technique that you should be working on. It takes some skill to make a woman orgasm and believe it or not, it has little to do with size. Very few women orgasm as a result of intercourse alone, hence size really doesn’t mean much in terms of her fulfillment.

So, up until this point we see that size does not matter on the first encounter, on the second date if you end up in bed then, and it does not really matter during intercourse - no matter which kind of woman you are with - a caring one or one that is only in it for sex. Given that, the questions that should be resonating in your mind are, why does penis size matter and to whom does it matter? If it matters only to women who will treat you as a piece of meat - then who cares what they think? If it matters to a woman who you think cares deeply for you - then maybe she doesn’t care as much as you think. Now let’s look at it from another perspective.

Being told that you don’t measure up is probably a big blow to the ego but now think about women and how many times they are ‘told’ that they don’t measure up. Now, if you are a man and are overweight - you are considered by society to be a “big boy” and that is okay. Women who are overweight are considered “fat” and there are not excuses made for it - not even having had children works as an excuse for very long. It is expected that after a woman has a child she should regain her figure within a certain period of time and if she does not then she is seen to have no will power and has “let herself go” after having children.

Now let us think about the figure of the perfect woman - 36-24-36. Hmmm, how many women do you think have those measurements? My guess is, not many. What is the average penis size? Some say 5.5 inches some say 7 but hey, what difference does it make? Everything is relative, right? And how long has it been since women have been force-fed this crap about being a certain size? I would think that since civilization began, women have been colouring their hair, eyes, lips and wearing girdles that hold in places that should be fat-free. Today, women undergo surgeries to rectify everything from small breasts to sagging buttocks, complex leg lengthening surgeries, face lifts, nose jobs, etc… For every part of a woman’s anatomy, there is a surgeon willing to make it more perfect for a price.

The problem now appears to be that men are feeling the need to be more perfect as well. It has not been too long since a man was perfect just the way he was - why? - because he is a man. A man was only a man if he could be a man that didn’t care what anybody else thought. He could be overweight, bald, unshaven, dirty, whatever - and that was okay because he is a man. Now, it appears that with the feminist movement and with women flocking to the workplace, men are feeling a little more conscientious about the way they look and the way they are perceived. They are now feeling the need to measure up. It is unfortunate that it has come to this but it is very interesting to us women to see that there are now advertisements focused on how men may not be perfect just the way they are and that they should be improving upon what God gave them to please us.

The point of this article is to make our readers understand that women are attracted to men for many reasons and the size of your equipment is probably not one of those reasons. So, when does size matter? That is an interesting question, don’t you think?

When you find that special someone and you want to ask her to marry you. Does the size of the diamond matter? When you think about what it means, it may matter to her friends and everyone else that is going to see this ring. And what is it that the size means to them? Well, to many, the size of the rock is an indication of a number of things. First, how much you love her is expressed in the size of the thing. Second, how much you can afford is suggestive of how good a life you are going to have. Third, the size of the rock influences how other women see her. There were a few articles written that suggested that the bigger the diamond the woman is wearing, the greater the influence she was said to have with business people or with financial dealings - even with other women. If you find the right woman - it will not matter much to her - but you may want to err on the side of caution and fork out the money for a decent sized one anyway.

Another place that size may matter is your bank account. I don’t think this is an issue if you have the right woman and why this is does not even deserve any further explanation. Suffice it to say that if you have a woman who likes the size of your bank account or who doesn’t - you will wish that the size of your penis was your biggest problem.

Size is also important when you are considering a house. Size matters - the bigger the house the more status you are thought to have. Again, the size of this will not matter much to the right woman.

Everybody knows that bigger is better - right? Wrong. The size of the rock, house, bank account and other things should not matter a great deal when this woman is considering whether she wants to date you, marry you or just spend time with you. So, tell me - when does penis size matter and to whom?

I wrote this article because I am appalled at the number of advertisements and the amount of marketing dollars that are being pumped into making men believe that women are shallow enough to care about the size of the man’s penis. The great likelihood is that a woman is more apt to care about the size of the diamond, bank account, house and the like than she is to care about your penis size. And if you have a woman who cares too much about those things, you are going to be in for a hell of a ride. Guess what guys - most women who are worth impressing don’t really give a shit about the size of your penis, bank account, house, or diamond ring. If you find a woman who cares about you - most of that stuff will disappear because she will love the man that you are and not necessarily the tangible things you can give her.

For women sex starts in the mind and believe it or not - it ends there too! What you need to do is connect with her at the level that she needs to feel understood, appreciated and loved. Do these things and she will not ask or want you to change a thing - in her eyes you will be perfect. Beauty is in the mind and not the eyes of the beholder.

I found the following anecdote and I thought it contained a message worth repeating.

Anecdote:

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in.

"We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?" Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!"