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Bonus Article: The finer points
of talking dirty...
From the pen of Suzie, noted sex inter-relationist
Imagine for a moment that you and your girlfriend are in bed,
things are going great you are both into the moment when she
pulls you closer and whispers in your ear “Talk dirty to me.”
This simple little phrase leaves most men at a loss for
words.
What do you say? What does she want to hear exactly? Is she
expecting pornographic descriptions of the act or is she
expecting you to be suave and use creative language to describe
her genitals?
You could ask her, but then you might lose the magic of the
moment.
There are a few ways, short of asking her, to find out.
Consider the following possibilities:
We will assume that you have spent some time talking to this
woman before getting her into bed. Being aware of the way she
talks and behaves is a clue of how she would like to be talked
to when you are in bed.
Does she use vulgar language, or is she more laid back, is
she prim and proper, bordering prudish?
Of course, using only the above suggestion determines
nothing. I know many a woman who will act sweet and innocent in
public, but then become an uninhibited sexual tigress that uses
very colorful language in the bedroom.
Then there are the tough girls that project independence and
strength who become shy quiet and passive in the bedroom.
Another thing to consider is how does she like her
lovemaking? Does she like to take things slowly and quietly, or
is she more of a wild woman who likes to experiment? Maybe your
lady is into domination and/or bondage, or does she like to make
love with the lights off?
Remember, these clues may not set her dirty talk request in
stone, but chances are you can derive a sense of what she may
expect by taking into account the aforementioned points.
Remember that you can't generalize about women and assume that
she means what you mean when she refers to "naughty language."
The one thing to remember above all: don’t disrespect
her!
Even when you do talk dirty, remember that you're living out a
fantasy with her. She simply enjoys being
treated like a bad girl on occasion. Know how to separate
fantasy from reality or you will be finished before you even
start!
The best way to encourage dirty talk is by assuming a
different role in the bedroom. Try to submit and let her be more
dominant. This way you'll get more of a clue as to what she
means when she mentions "dirty talk." You need directions and
she's the only one who knows the acceptable route.
Although we all refer to bedroom talk as dirty talk about
sex, there are two levels to it: The soft-core and the
hard-core. If your woman enjoys using different words to
describe your penis besides the usual four-letter words we're
accustomed to, then by all means try different ways to say what
she wants to hear.
Start out slow, it's better to be safe than sorry and it is a
good way to feel out what is acceptable as dirty talk.
Start out by saying tamer things, using soft-core language.
You can gauge the level to which you can take it by her
response. She will either join in the talk, take it to a higher
level, or tell you to back off.
The following are only a few examples of what is considered
soft core.
-
“Do you want me to slide my pulsating rod into your warm
wetness?” (After she answers yes) Say “Tell me how it feels,
tell me what you want me to do.”
- The thought of you wrapping your hot mouth around my hard
shaft drives me crazy.” Or “I want you to lick my throbbing
hardness.”
- “I love it when you spread your legs for me; open up and let
me taste you.”
- “You look so sexy tonight, you make me so hard.”
- "I've been thinking of being inside you all day."
With practice and with time you can come up with many creative
words to replace vagina, penis, fellatio, and cunnilingus.
Ask her what she wants from you, what she imagines you doing, and
how she imagines you going about it; ask her to describe these
things.
Some women might find this level of talk kind of sappy. It is
very important to listen to the language she uses and if and how she
gets graphic, then, and only then is it safe to move on to the
hard-core talk.
Both men and woman alike, those who enjoy this level of dirty
talk, get very aroused by it. In a sense it is like the ‘forbidden
fruit’ and therefore very erotic.
Some people call this smut, some even find it degrading, but if
your lady is willing to comply you may find your sexual experience
very rewarding.
For the sake of giving you ideas, here are a few things you could
say in the heat of the moment:
- “I want to fuck you with my hard cock until you cum all over
me.”
- “ I want you to suck my stiff rod while I suck on your
throbbing clit.
(Put her up against the wall and put your hand up her skirt)
- “Do you like it when I stick my finger inside your wet
pussy? I've been waiting all day to bend you over and fuck you
deep and hard.”
- “Feel my hard cock, tell me how much you want it.” (Her
response) “Do you want to feel it inside your wet pussy? Beg me
for it, tell me how bad you want it”
- “ Is your pussy hot and wet for me? (Her response) “Do you
want my hard cock?” (Her response) “Do you want me to fuck you?”
It's time for you to take creative initiative and tell it like it
is. Whether she likes it soft-core or hard, add some fun to your
bedroom experience by giving her a speech she won't soon forget.
Keep in mind however, that talking dirty is not necessary during
every sexual session and sometimes silence can say so much. So until
next time, if you plan to walk the walk, remember that you need to
talk the talk as well!
To maintain a happy relationship, always keep in mind that when
it comes to dirty talk, you should for the most part keep it in the
bedroom. That means that you don't get to swear at her or make lewd
requests when you're having dinner at a nice restaurant. Unless of
course she wants you to, but that, my friends, is another chapter.
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